Standing In The Dark
by gkdlblbld
Summary: He saw enough...
1. I've Seen Enough

**I like my title!**

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Fitz took a drag of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground.

"Screw Degrassi, this place isn't half bad." he said out loud. As he lit another cigarette, Bruce and three girls wearing short dresses came up to me.

"Dude, we are so _stoned_! I mean, uh, wait, what's it called?" Bruce slurred. Two of the girls giggled, while the other passed out cold. Fitz bent down to help her.

"Guys, she's not conscious." Fitz pointed out. Bruce swatted the air.

"Ah, then the bitch can't handle this!" Bruce said, jumping. His girls laughed as they walked away.

Fitz sighed, and called an ambulance. A skinny, short man ran out of the ambulance, while two other put the blonde on the stretcher.

"Sir, what happened?" the man asked. Fitz shook his head.

"I don't know. She was on some sort of drugs, and she passed out right on the spot." Fitz explained, snapping his fingers.

"And...where did she get these said drugs?" the man asked skeptically.

"I don't know, mister." With that, the man rushed to his ambulance to drive her to the hospital.

"There Jesus, there's my good deed for the day. I didn't even know her name." he muttered, propping himself on the curb. He watched a group of girls, maybe in middle school, sing to a song on the radio.

"That's what, you get, for waking up in Vegas!" their snobby voices sang. Fitz laughed through his nose.

"Vegas," he said out loud, frowning.

Vegas, the theme of the dance.

The dance, the last of his happiness.

His happiness, what he prayed someone would bring.

But who? His drug addict father killed his mother and himself. He had no friends, just enemies.

Eli.

A nice guy really, there was only reason why he hated him.

Because he, Eli Goldsworthy, held the heart of Clare. His beloved Clare. After seeing her for the first time, his brain turned to mush. His history notebook no longer contained violent sketches. It contained anything and everything related to Clare.

"Hey, Edward, how's it hanging?"

"Clare, dear, don't look in my eyes. Look in my soul."

"Do you see what you do to me, love?"

After school, some time in April, Owen found this. He scoffed and walked away.

"Where are you going?" Fitz had asked him. Owen threw the notebook in his face.

"Sorry, I don't talk to pansies."

Fitz heard a faint giggling from behind the alley. When he looked, it was Eli and Clare making out. Clare was pinned to the brick wall, and Eli's hand was venturing under her skirt. Fitz looked away; he'd seen enough. His phone started to ring.

"What?" he hissed.

"Hello, Toronto Medical Emergency Center here. We are sorry to inform you that Nikki didn't make it."

"Nikki?" he asked, confused.

"Uh, blond hair, wearing a short dress..." Again, he'd heard enough. He slammed the phone in the street, breaking it in half. A tear slipped down his cheek.

"Why does life suck?" he croaked. He ran home, and picked up his switchblade. He sobbed lightly.

"Sayonara." he said, before stabbing himself.

**Well that was awfully sad to write! Tell me if you like it, and if you don't, spank a giraffe, then tell me to go die in a hole.**


	2. It's Hard To Say Goodbye

**Clare's POV:**

We all stood around the grey casket being lowered into the ground. I couldn't really feel anything.

I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Fitz stabbed himself.

I couldn't comprehend that his body was in the casket, and there was nothing I could do about it.

In his will, he wrote the most touching, depressing things.

"_All of my earnings go to my uncles and aunts, or any relative who actually bothers to show up to my funeral. Honestly, I don't care what the hell you do with my stuff, or my money. I just have one request. Leave my love to Clare Edwards, the girl I'll never have."_

It wasn't until nine people I didn't know ran up to me and hugged me that I realized I was sobbing gently.

If I had any idea that he'd felt this way, I would've put it gently.

I _killed _Fitz. I killed his dreams, his motivation, and all the rest of him. I cried on Eli's shoulder.

"It's okay.." he soothed. I looked up.

"No it's not! It's my fault! He killed himself because of me." I sobbed. Eli sighed and rubbed my back.

**General POV:**

Owen stood up to say a few words. He rested his elbows on a podium, and cleared his throat, gaining the respect of the audience.

"Hello, everybody. Thank you for coming today, I wanted to say a few words about my friend. He was loyal, and even though his head was rock hard, his heart was made a gold. He was there whenever I needed him." he stopped, and caught his breath. He'd been crying. "You know, sometimes I wish it was me. He was such a good, caring person, and I was an ass to him! Why couldn't it be me?" he cried out. A pair of heels started to click and he looked up.

"What, Clare?" he said. Her face softened.

"I thought the same thing. He was so good, we just never gave him a chance. But for whatever reason, he didn't feel like he belonged here. That reason, we don't know. But he...he wouldn't be happy if he were here today. _He had to be let go of._" she whispered the last part. He avoided her gaze.

"B-but he needed me, and I wasn't there. He _had _no shoulder to lean on. He needed someone to...I don't know, save him from himself." Owen said. Clare rested a hand on his shoulder.

"He didn't want that. He wouldn't want this!" Clare cried, gesturing mourners.

"He would want a simple sendoff, with a few good words." Owen pointed out.

"I think we should give him that." Clare whispered.

At the park, many Degrassi students stood in a circle. In the middle was a box of Fitz's belongings, sitting in the dirt with a picture of him on top. They joined hands.

"Whatever the reason was, I'm sure it was a good one. We miss ya, Fitz. You were a good kid." Eli said, trying not to cry.

"It's hard, you know, seeing someone in the street one day, the next in your coffin. It's a...a shame you had to go, man." Adam choked.

"I didn't know you all that well, but somehow I miss you. I think you had a great life ahead of you." Holly J. sobbed.

"You're still my best friend, even if you are dead." Owen croaked. He earned some chuckles with that one.

"I can't help but feel like this is my fault. But you had too much pain, it needed to be eased. I just wish you could be here today, up to your usual mischief." she cried, chuckling with the last part. She got more chuckles.

"Don't steal my thunder, toots." Owen joked, tears spilling out. Clare laughed weakly. They tightened the grip on each other's hands and perfected their circle.

"We love you, Fitz." they all whispered.


End file.
